a day in the life!

To all of your who faithfully support me in prayer and finacially:
I just wanted to show you a day in the life of an Honor Academy intern:

I got the Joy.

Sometimes it almost creeps me out how quickly God answers prayers around here. But creeped out isn’t the right word, it amazes me. Here are a few examples: yesterday I was just having the worst day. Everything was getting to me and I just wanted to have a friend come hug me and let me cry. So many were on my heart and I just felt so alone because no one here really understands me. I mean Jesus does and Jesus is here. But anyways! I was writing in my journal about how sad I was and how my heart felt like it was breaking for this generation. And I just wanted to be hugged and then I had to go to Wed night service. Well God has placed it on Mr. Hasz’s heart to encourage the interns. I mean it was a breathe of fresh air. He just told us how God is smiling at because he are living a life pleasing to Him. We threw off everything that slows us down and are running after God. Then we sang “the enemy’s been defeated. Death couldn’t hold you down, gunna life our voice in victory gunna make your praises loud. Shout unto God with a voice of triumph, Shout onto God with a voice of praise” and it just hit me. The Joy of the Lord. We serve an awesome God. Truly nothing is above him. And yet he cares enough about each one of us to know every detail of our lives. I mean these are simple truths but it hit me. I had a break trough. Not even death, hell, and the grave could keep him. And he loves ME! Anyways now I am babbling, but I am so blessed. I have so much joy knowing Jesus. I could really go on and on and on. But I won’t.

Also this morning in 360 (women’s bible study basically) I wrote down on my notebook “I want to learn to pray for others, make me a prayer warrior” well then this morning I got an email called “Prayer Warriors” I mean just crazy things like that happen all the time here. Now I still can not wait to go home but I am so excited that I am here and I am learning about God and He is changing me and filling me with His love and joy. And I just can not wait to pour it out again. I have a long long way to go though.


Anyways thank you guys for praying for me, God is hearing you!! Keep praying and pray for my friend Chase is in serious financial trouble, he might get sent home b/c of money issues. I know God wants him here please just pray that God will give him the money.

Hug?

What I would do to hug someone from home right now.

Good Morning

Good Morning everyone
it is Tuesday the 27th. I have not been on here in a little while because I just have not had the time or the energy. this past weekend was the mountain LTE (Life Transforming Event). It was quite the experiance. we spent over half the time on the bus. because first our bus was bucking like a bronco than it just shut off. so we had to wait for 2 hours for another bus to come. then we drove until 2 the next day to the other side of the state. had camp, went hiking, had a worship service under the stars. which would have been way cooler had i known the songs. then bed at 9 and up at 4.
we hiked all day. to the highest point in Texas. it was really pretty. then we walked half way down and up again to the South Rim.oh my goodness it was gorgeous. just mountains as far as the eye could see. it was intense. someone was playing worship music and it just kind of hit me how BIG God is. the Mountains melt like wax before the Lord. My savior he can MOVE THE MOUNTAINS. that is amazing.

then we got back in the bus for a wonderful 12 hours. mind you this bus doesn't have heat and none of us had showered in 2 days. lovely. or miserable.

I have just been workin' and goin' to classes since. Tuesday is chapel day. I am actually really excited about worship today. so hopefully it won't dissapoint. that's all for now. I should probably find something remotely work related to do. I have lots more to say though.
be excited.

SATURDAY

this place has ruined me!

I slept in this morning until 9!

9?? That is not cool at all.

however I did wake up AFTER the sun. nice. 

this morning a kid from my brother core went home

all the girls in my core are really upset.

i feel bad. I dont know what to do.

I am really tired. and I got hit with a fresh 

wave of homesickness. I wish I was at the CRASH

retreat. I wish I was not getting a cold. I am glad it is 58 today

and going to be 66 by Friday.

so the cool thing to do around here is go to 24 hour prayer services. 

no seriously. everyone does it. 

i went to one last night. we got lost and i help navigate us there.

i promise. SHAUN- I'm serious! I GOT US UNLOST! 

anyways we were only there for 25 mins 'cause it was so late.

and the worshop band when we got there was awful

i think i have a pride issue. worship is worship right?

I want to go home!!!! nothing here feels like home. nothing here is comforting.

HELLO!

Hey so it is wed.

and I was having a really good day. my quiet time was productive. even though i was for sure late and will be written up about it. but i read phil chapter 1 and it was exactly what i was feeling for the people back home. so read it, and its my letter to you. particularly the part about suffering.

no corporate today, tomorrow or friday due to the cold. THANK YOU GOD.

seriously if I didn't believe in the power of prayer before- I do now.

haha. 

I started to actually like my job a little today even though it is overwhelming. there is a lot to learn and the fact that kids 17-24ish are doing the majority of the work that runs/puts on aquire the fire, battle cry and the honor academy theres some pressure there.

yeah if you didn't know- which i didn't teenagers basically run the show. which is really cool. so when we say we are working to reach this generation, we really are. i won't lie i love it.

so i like my job because it is making a difference i like my quiet time, i like chapel, and i might even like class. end likes. i hate everything else. if i had my way i would go home. but i can't God chose so I am here. 

I have that high school fear of having no one to sit with in the cafeteria, everyday, for every meal. its no good.

but i read this (sorry this is all over the board) quote on a brochure and i liked it.

something like this 

"the world can't change me but I want to change the world"

i am tired and don't feel like writing anymore but I have more fun quotes like that

until next time.

greetings.

I got my ministry placement today. I work in development- where I wanted to be. which is good i am quite happy. basically what we do is correspond with donors/ potential donors/ potential speakers. Its pretty confidential and boss. I love it. well my first day was nice.

I am getting overwhelmed. classes start for me on wed. so all of this and then classes and homework. but i have to trust that God knows what He is doing. He didn't just lead me here and then forgot about me. I know He is here, I can feel Him. 

I just found out there is basically no chance of me coming for ATF due to budget cuts. but God can do miracles so keep praying about that. and pray about my funding issue. because there is a huge amount of money i still need to get and I just do not know where it is going to come from. I need diligence to actually look for more people to donate money. I just don't know who else to ask. 

I want to go home so badly- I always get so much happier hearing from people from home. Yes- Mom & Dad even you guys. You guys keep me motivated and remind that I am here for a reason. I have to remember its only a year. and I have so much to learn in this year. so in some ways its not long enough. no- a year is plenty. 

I also found out some fun things about the Honor Academy- 

1) they turn off the hot water from 12-4:30 here. yeahhh learned that the hard way.

2) we are going to start getting up at 4:30 AM instead of 5.

why exactly? your guess is as good as mine. 

I got to talk to Abby today and she was telling me how I need to make friends here. that they will teach me more about God than I can learn on my own. I hate to admit but I think she is right. I don't want to make friends here I don't have enough energy to do that. But I don't have a choice. My heart is at home with all the people that love me and are supporting me I don't think I can ever be fully happy here. Even though I feel closer to God here without the distractions I still feel called to be at home. Not called home like dying. hahaha.

please pray that this year flys by. 

that is all for now. it's almost time for bed. no-seriously

"SHUT UP!!!!"

Hey guys!

So it has for sure been an interesting couple of days. We got our permanent cores. And I had to leave my beloved core and move down the hall. I am still in the same hall which is good but I think this new room is going to be a challenge. We are for sure a motley crew. I could tell how I really feel about every person but I will just say that they are all…different. Different from me and each other. There is a girl from Owasso, MI so that is exciting. Also, we have a brother core together we are a family. The leader of the guy’s core is from DEARBORN. Actually Priscilla Vos wanted me to find him because she knows him. So it is kind of cool. I am trying to not judge people and see them how God sees them. It is going to be a challenge but I think I am up for it. My patience and self control is being tested because these new people are always around me. Currently actually, and reading over my shoulder. Oops. Meh. Ohhh  and we have an ice chewer, wonderful.

 

 

Ok so I read this verse today  Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

 

I think this year is going to transform me. It may actually have already started. It is actually really cool because almost everything that I read is something I have heard over and over again. Except this time I am trying to read it with an open mind and heart. Everything I read is exactly what I need to hear at the time and it actually speaks volumes to me. I am falling in love with the Bible which is boss. I have always wanted to but once I removed all the distractions or whatever the reason is it is actually happening(thats kinda renewing my mind, right?). [I really am trying not to punch people in the face right now, ahhhh these random facts are thrilling really, I care so deeply about what you are saying to me about laptops, hotdogs, chemicals, word format…]

 

I feel like I have learned enough mission accomplished. Can I come home now?

WHAT NOW?

so this whole week the only thing that has kept me going was I was under the impression that 5 AM corporate was for this week only. well I just found out that it is everyday for the next 4 weeks!! WHAT! That is just straight luda crisy. but I will be a straight up power house. 

ok so here is the deal. Today God kicked my butt. last night Mr. Hasz gave us a TWO HOUR long speech about the rules. not rules but like expectations. that is not the right word either. anyways he talked on and on about how we are to be LEADERS and STATESMEN. like representatives of Christ. he told us the words we are not allowed to say, and lets just be honest I was not pleased. I was annoyed. He demands that we call everyone above us Mr. and Miss. or Mrs. anything short of that is not respectful or appropriate. I always feel like he is putting down anything that is not the Honor Academy and that the church is becoming lazy some of the stuff he says is fine and dandy but he offends me on a daily basis to be honest. 

but this morning during my quiet time I opened my journal that my dearest friend Abby gave me. the journal has a verse on the bottom of every page and I just read the chapter of the verse. anyways God totally kicked my butt. 

Ephesians 5:3-4

But amoung you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Not should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are put of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ouch right? I told myself I wanted to make my faith my own and that unless God himself said it then I wouldn't really care. But read that. must of the things that we think are ok to talk about, aren't "That's what she said" that is not appropriate. I won't lie it kills me to have to come to this but it is true. We are representatives of Christ. We claim to be Christians and yet filth spews forth from our mouths? not cool. Impurity- I will just be honest and say I have not done a whole lot of anything in that realm but still. It flat out says not to why do we think its ok? why do we think that because we are Christians we can say and do whatever we want? we can't. 

Yeah it stinks but God is choosing us to be leaders- He does not have to but He chose to! He get to be part of something that has eternal value that is unfathomably cool. 

I think the way I talk (esp around boys) is completely not ok. As I get older I want to be treated like a lady- I should act like one. Joking about sex is funny and easy but I want to start demanding respect out of my brothers in Christ. I don't get offended at all about that sort of thing and I probably won't but God says it is improper and I agree. 

So all that to say I think it will be easy to change my tone around here in this bubble but at home it will be harder. I am actually really convicted about this- which is weird because less than 24 hours ago I wanted to punch someone in the face for basically telling I wasn't a lady.

Ok I miss you guys and I just wanted to tell you about one of the many things God is working on in me already. I also want to challenge you guys to think about that verse. because it is pretty clear in its meaning. but I would love some feedback.

OK I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU

Tuesday.

hey party people. I miss you all. I talked to Shaun today, I don't know if he could tell but I was crying the whole time :( then I called my mom and I was holding back tears. I WANT TO GO HOME! But I want to be here.

So this is the thing that has been not only physically draining but emotionally as well. have you ever been convicted by God or met with God so intimately it tired you out? well that has been my life for the past two days and on top of the early mornings I am pooped. But it is good. God is opening my eyes to things in my life I need to get rid of before I can become a leader. 

Though- some of the things people here believe in- I am  NOT strongly convicted in. That might change or after I study the Word about it, I might not. I want my faith to be completely personal. 

ok so I may have told you that the worship here is lacking. they sing the same 4 songs everytime. I miss my home worship so much. but yesterday in one of my 5 sessions (holla) someone was saying how worship is part of spiritual warfare. I never thought about that before.  Satan hates worship because, for the most past, worship songs as based on the Bible and when we speak them out we are declaring truth. I LOVE THAT. I'm not a fan of satan I love that he is constantly reminded of his future, while I am reminded of mine. Its powerful. But I also was realizing why the attack on a lot of worship leaders is so strong. 

I also realize that even though I do not like the style of the music I like the message those five songs have. so I am trying to really mean what I sing in worship ignoring the fact that I think it sounds putrid. I listened to Hillsong's 'This is Our God' on my iPod last night, I had a better worship experiance doing that then in the worship I have twice a day. So I will corporately declare God's truth in chapel but my music will always feel like home.

that is all for now. LOVE YOU!!!

Monday? seriously?

hey guys!

i am really pressed for time but I just wanted to let you know that your prayers are really workin!

I am so tired all the time but somehow I make it through the day! I am homesick for sure but I know that I am going to be able to minister so much better when I get home. Andrew asked if I wanted to be on CRASH staff when I get back, I was so honored! I can't wait to get back and pour everything I have into that ministry. That really is where my heart is and it is really hard fo rme to be away! but for now I am running and running hard after God. 

I am already learning so much, not just the rules but God is stirring my heart. I constantly need to stop myself from crying, I don't like when people see me cry at all. 

But I have asked God to do some dangerous things in me this year, things that will be hard. and painful. but I am ready. this is what I want. we talked in Core group about how frustrating it is to want to want God but we don't. But my CA (Core Advisor) was telling us how it is ALL God. WE  just have to Ask him to. He does all the work. its so amazing. I feel like I have a new revelation every hour. I have been journaling so much. I have so much to say

but I need to eat

ok I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I MISS YOU!!! I AM PRAYING FOR YOU

Please keep praying for me, esp this week.

Monday? seriously?

Greetings from Arkansas.

Seriously? Arkansas? it sounds so hick. I know people argue I live in Hickville already.

anyways it has only been one day and I am already homesick. I would not have even seen anyone most likely today anyway but still. The fact that it will be 348 days 'till I see everyone again is sad. really sad.

But I just have to take comfort in the fact that I know that this is 100% what God wants me to do. I chose this, to get away from all the distractions and seek God's face. I just never imagined it being nearly this hard. Not even close. But that is ok because I think that means that the enemy does not want me there so he is making me 2nd guess this. And other than the fact that I am going to miss everyone I am really excited about this. 

I am excited to "go, live the life, give it all for JESUS CHRIST" I am just leaving one ministry for another. I am ok with it, change and I never got along but I will just have to accept it. grow from it. I refuse to make new friends though. I like mine too much.